I'm back after a long hiatus.

Work and studying got the best of me.

My baby is no longer a baby. he's a big boy and I can't even imagine how fast the time flew.  He's getting along great with day care but generally speaking, still cries at drop off and pickup. But he stops crying as soon as I leave the room.

I have a few DIY projects coming up I'd like to share. Hopefully I'll get it done tomorrow and will provide pictures as well!

Grocery list

2 cartons of horizons whole milk
tomatoes
idaho potatoes
organic onions
frozen mixed vegetables
frozen green beans
avocados
coconut oil
EVOO
clementines
1 minute quick oats
green bell pepper
coriander powder
cashews
yogurt
labneh
pita bread
lemons

Review: Mama Bee

"Keep your skin supple and soft with this light-weight, all natural body oil. Sweet almond and lemon oils and Vitamin E recondition skin throughout your pregnancy. No phthalates, parabens, petrolatum, or SLS."

I used this during my pregnancy to prevent stretch marks and soothe itching. I am lucky and genetics played a large role in me not getting stretch marks, but I still used this just in case. However, I didn't use this consistently. Just whenever I could remember or was not too lazy.

A reason why I don't like moisturizing my skin is because I do not like the way it feels when my clothes are in contact with my skin. After applying most moisturizers I find myself waiting a few minutes to make sure I don't have that sticky, clingy feel to my clothes. 

I typically used this after my shower but have also used this without showering. I found it to absorb quickly either way. It has an interesting but pleasant scent. Smells natural, I suppose. I do like it and it did the trick in aiding my skin to stay hydrated and soothed irritation my skin felt due to stretching. 

I rediscovered this in my linen closet a few days ago and have been using it to fight my dry skin in this harsh winter weather. I also have hypothyroidism so my skin is extra alligator-ish. This definitely did the trick and as long as I consistently use this - or any other moisturizer I suppose- it will stay nice and soft.

Because it is an oil I feel like it stays softer longer. I will continue to use this in the future. Pregnant or not!

Pacifier

Baby Bear likes his pacifier. So much so that when he sucks on it really hard it leaves a red ring around his mouth. And his breath stinks and his face stinks because of all the saliva hanging around his mouth.

I've seen older children with pacifiers and I cringe. He doesn't need it in his mouth all the time, but he definitely has moments where he absolutely needs it. I he's cranky and when he's out to sleep. I was going to get rid of it cold turkey on 12/30/14 but then noticed four of his top teeth growing in all at the same time. Well taking it away at a time like that is just plain cruel.

A mom suggested trimming the end f the pacifier. And trim i every day or gradually over a few days. he eventually won't like how it sits in his mouth and will either shrug his shoulders and toss it out or throw a fit. When he throws a fit and all his pacifiers aren't helping he's going to have to learn how to soothe himself another way.

So I trimmed it and gave it to him. he didn't care for it while he was awake and didn't mind not having it. But towards the night he became super fussy and cranky and developed a fever. So I let him have the uncut pacifier. Today I replaced it again with the cut pacifier. since he is feeling better. Nap time was hard as he wanted a pacifier to soothe him and the one available wasn't helping. He eventually fell asleep.

I'll be updating you guys about how the night goes.

I think it's harder on parents. Especially tired parents who don't want to have to put extra work in to soothe lol. Sorry but I am guilty of it. I work and work and want something to b easy. A Happy baby is easy, guys.

So for myself I am going to cut ALL his pacifiers. Or I should just throw them all away except this cut one I have. But I will wait until day after tomorrow to do so because I have a 24 hour call and won't be able to execute the plan. So if whoever it caring for him is willing to put in that extra soothing after taking care of him all day is willing to use the cut pacifier I am all for it. but I won't push it because it's not their kid and they are doing me a favor for watching him.

Good night for now guys!

Baby Update

Baby Bear's got about 7 teeth out now and is trying to say a lot more with meaning instead of just babbling. He mimics his little ambulance toy and our actions and words. He loves brushing his teeth and loves hearing his good morning song.

He still doesn't like drinking milk out of the sip cup. He is a decent eater and has good and bad days. He is growing into a little man which makes me sad that time is flying by so quickly.
He loves giving everyone hugs and kisses.

He's going to daycare twice a week, full days. It's expensive so I decided to make the most out of the days he is there and not put him for only a few hours per day.

My Grocery List

In case anyone cares lol.

Horizons Whole Milk with DHA x 2
Unsweetened vanilla almond milk x 2
Cheese sticks
Crescent grass fed chicken breast, wings, tenders x 2 each
Zucchini x 5
5 lb bag of cuties {mini oranges}
Strawberries
Bluberries
2% cottage cheese
Fage greek yogurt plain
Tomatos
Red potatoes
precut mushroom and red onion mix
Sundried tomatoes in oil
Heavy cream

Recipes to follow!

No more commitments

I was blogging just fine until i said I'd be doing it more frequently. then Boom! I disappear for almost 20 days.

Angry Baby

Today I took a Baby Bear to Chuck E Cheese for the very first time. This is not the one that we only go to as we are a  couple hours from home, so I went alone instead of with other friends.

He got really excited to see all the kids playing and running around. The ligjts and sounds engaged him. He was excited to sit with Bob the Builder and on the train and take a photo with Chuck E.

There is a phone with numbers you can press and speak with and see Chuck E on a monitor. The phone is also physically to the device with a cable. Baby Bear loves phones loves to say hello or, "oo-ooh?" when he picks up the phone.

However when he found out that he could not walk away with this phone he threw a fit. He slammed the phone onto the floor. Then he would walk away, walk back to the phone and try to hang it up. However, he couldn't because he's just not coordinated enough yet. So I would put the phone back on the hook for him. He then proceeded to try to unhook the phone, get frustrated because he couldn't. I would unhook the phone for him and say hello and pleasant voice. He then will happily take the phone from me say hello himself happily and then attempt to walk away.

When he realized he was limited by the cord he agaun began screaming. It was a viscious cycle.

I just had to laugh. I couldn't do anything else but laugh. This little man has such a big temper. We have to teach him anger management because he is not coping very well with the stresses of everyday life. LOL. he's had a lot of people in the past few days.

In his defense I have to say it was his nap time and I didn't let him because I wanted to leave so housekeeping could clean.

He fell asleep before I even settled down in thw driver's seat.

Library

I am trying this new thing out where I can update you guys about my day. Or maybe myself about my day. Because I don't have too many readers.

I think that would be nice to record the  highlights of my day with my baby or just my day at work or in general. it would be sweet that i would be able to look back at themand ans read what we did that day.  I will also be updating a January 1st and 2nd blogs highlighting what we did those days. 

Today baby bear and I went to the library. I took him soon after breakfast. I am currently in a hotel so we had to get out before the maid came because I get really awkward when there are people cleaning my stuff when I could very well be doing it on my own.

It was his nap time so he fell asleep on the way there. I really enjoyed the hour or so that he was sleeping because I was able to catch up on some reading that I would not have been able to had he been awake. I read my book in the kids section so that he'd be in an acceptable place in case he woke up crying.

When he had woken up we played with the toys and read some books. He normally prefers his books over toys at home. Here he preferred the toys. Probably because they were new compared to what he has at home. He was the only one there. So he got to do whatever he wanted. And make quite a bit of noise.

We went up for lunch and he did not fight me he had some fried chicken and pizza. Maybe that's why he did not fight me. He also is enjoying the green beans. Which I did not think he enjoyed as much of carrots and peas. We went back down to the kids area to play.

We came back to the hotel where I set out to the rest of his food leftovers. He is walking around right now picking at food and walking away with it playing coming back taking some more. It's snacking but something in his belly is better than nothing or better than nothing.

I also love that today he's been smothering me with sloppy wet kisses. This doesn't happen too often, so whenever it does I just soak it all in and do not care about how my face looks. I have oily finger marks all over my shirt and slobber all over me but I don't get to enjoy this intense love everyday. He keeps coming up to me and cuddling with me.

I love my little man.

Food Fight

My baby is not one who lives to eat. He definitely eats to live.

It's difficult to get him to really enjoy food. He will eat it on good days and on bad days he will throw a fit and refuse to eat at all. On the good days he'll eat but won't be upset if you don't continue to feed him. So it's difficult to figure out if he's eating enough. At least he's growing.

I am one of those parents that thinks it's ridiculous to have to flash an iPhone, phone or TV during meals. But after experiencing so much resistance with my own kid, I can understand why parent's do so. It's quite frustrating to see your child refuse meals time after time.

Unfortunately, I do not care for my child for a huge chunk of the day. I can probably be there for one meal. Two if I am lucky. Other people are not as patient as I am. I do not know how they feed Baby Bear. I know my husband definitely pulls out the phone because he is impatient himself. For other's I pretend it goes my way. I can't get mad at those who volunteer to watch him for free in the comfort of his own home environment.

I've heard of different things to get kids to eat. Give them variety. Don't offer them too much variety. I usually put finger foods or rice or whatever on his plate and then feed him in between him feeding himself. That way he can practice eating but still get enough in before getting tired of trying to feed himself.

He will eat snacks. He loves snacks. Goldfish and veggies crisps, crackers, grapes. I try to limit snacks or not feed him to avoid spilling what little appetite he has. I also do it so that the snacks aren't on his mind before I do feed him.

He's definitely not a foodie like his mom and dad.

Sometimes when I come home from work late and my son is asleep I want to wake him up and annoy him so he knows how it feels. But then I remember a sleeping baby = me time and I make my chai and go online shopping instead.

Uh Oh

Baby bear is starting to throw things in wrong places to see our facial expressions and to hear us say, "Uh oh!"

It started when I'd be feeding him at his high chair and he'd throw down his spoon, plate, food, sippy cup. Basically anything that could be thrown. Then he'd crank his little neck all the way down and exclaim. 

Now he started throwing things in random places, like behind his bookcase. Then he looks at me with a surprised facial expression and says, "Uh!" Today he learned how to say, "oh!" 

That really got him geared up to throw everything he could behind the bookcase so he could say, "uh oh!" He'd also get on his tippy toes to make sure it was back there and out of his reach.

I can't believe his is growing so fast. 

That Christmas Rush

I just got done from a shift in the Emergency Department.

Oh my goodness gracious.

Everything was quiet. And it seems as though right after everyone's 5 PM holiday dinner people came in drones to be seen. Head injuries, car accidents, fevers, kids throwing up. It was busy. busy is good. busy means time flies by.

But we were short staffed because of the holiday. Which meant that patients required a little extra patience today. Which also means that the people who come in for a family checkup for no apparent reason should've stayed home and let the real emergencies come through. The emergency department is for emergencies. I'm going to see the most emergent case first and go in descending order of importance.

Your kid has a mild fever but is happily playing and eating and jumping all over the exam room? You're going to have to wait  little longer. Some parents treat doctors as if they own them. It's really frustrating. I don't know why people think it's their God given right to treat others who are helping them like garbage. 

Lack of education, manners, common sense and upbringing I suppose.

image taken from google search

Kitty Cat Pillow Pet

We have a massive cat in our house. She is huge. Her belly rubs up against the floor as she walks. And she loves loves loves affection and attention. Even if a kid pulls on her tail. She'll just start purring and get even more relaxed.

So Baby Bear and kitty cat have become real good chums. I hated it at first because animals ave germs and don't use soap. I still cringe a little inside when he body slams kitty cat. Not because I think he's hurting her. She just rolls over on he back and asks anyone and everyone to rub her belly. But because I don't know where the poop is on her long fur.

Lately he's been lying down on her like she's his pillow pet. I don't know where this kid comes up with these ideas. But he hugs her and put his head down on her belly and smiles. Then he gets bored after 0.2939434 seconds and needs to get up. Only she's so soft. So he puts all his weight on her poor humungous belly and props himself up.

This cat must love him to allow him to do that.

ps - image found from google. Not my kid. 

MIA

I've been Missing in Action lately due to the fact that Im doing a more demanding rotation this month. Coming home late from work, not getting enough hours in the days or nights to myself or family makes for a crabby me, husband and baby.

Life will get better

Fat Momma

Thanksgiving came in the way of my working out because we had family stay over. Some stayed in the basement where the treadmill was  and I didn't want to wake them up in the wee hours of the morning or late at night. Needless to say, my running was on hold.

I'm back at it this week. I even bought new workout clothes. I actually bought them to use as lounge wear as I am not really a fan of actual lounge wear. I gave up on the idea that I will have time to work out and work and take care of baby bear.

But then I realized I will never love myself unless I get back into shape. My self esteem relies heavily about how I feel  and look physically. Makeup doesn't make me look skinny. Running does.

So this week I've been getting up at 5:45 to run. Before my husband gets up to go to his work out. so that I am showered and ready by the time he has to leave and before Baby bear wakes up.  So far it's been working well.

The thing with me is I have to do it every day. If I make a commitment to do something every other day, I flake out and say I'll just do two days in a row next time and sleep in today. Then I never get back to it.

So now I committed to daily runs unless I am at work and can't do it or I'm in a place that doesn't have treadmills or I don't have anyone to watch Baby Bear while I run.

Working out in the morning is the best because I am not tired at the end of my long day at work - physically and mentally. Also it's easier to put things off if you don' get to them right away. Trust me. I have a huge list of things I need to get to but have been procrastinating.

In addition to running I do 100 squats every other day. I don't mind them I just find them boring. And for some reason time crawls by as I'm doing them. Next thing I plan to incorporate is the p90x ab riper every other day that I am not doing squats.

That and a healthier diet.

Re-Play Divided Plates

I bought these Re-Play divided plates for baby boo on amazon this past week and have been using them since.

Why I decided on this product: 
I bought them because they were inexpensive, duh. I also liked the Sugar Booger brand but it was 2-3 times more expensive for one than 3 of these! So I stuck with these because I wanted a few plates and didn't want to spend around 45 dollars for three.

I also purposefully didn't buy any themed plates or ones with pictures because my little man is hyper enough and gets distracted so easily, I didn't want to make feeding time more difficult than it is until he's able to cut down his feeding time.

They're dishwasher safe and BPA free.  The pates have nice deep sides. The plates are made from recycled plastic.

Shape and size:
I like the size of each section and like that it's a "normal" shape unlike the other plates I've seen for toddlers.  I don't know if there's any child psychology or logic related to the hales of some of the plates I've seen, but I was shooting for normal with decent sizes for each section. These fit what I was looking for.

Not Microwave safe:
Now I did not read anything about these being microwave safe, but that's okay with me. I don't keep his food in the plates in the fridge as storage anyways.

Clean up:
So far so good. These are pretty easy to clean. The food comes right off when I clean it after meals. I don't like to let it sit around and dry up on the plate so I have yet to test that issue out. But generally I don't like to let food do that anyways. It's going to make it harder to clean.

How Baby Likes it:
He is doing just fine with these plates. He doesn't have issues keeping the food in the plate, unless he's done eating and tried to turn it upside down. We approve of these plates!

Write About Your Relationship With Food

I have a love-hate relationship with food. It's what I seek comfort in; it's what I use to celebrate with. The consequence of food make me sad and depressed. It's the cause of my weight gain, of my lowered self esteem. But I shouldn't blame food for that.

Food has so many strong emotions attached to it. Food is a blessing and I am blessed to be able to eat whatever I want due to unlimited availability, lack of allergies, good sanitation. I'm not picking up crumbs out of the trash. Food makes me feel grateful. When someone makes something for me it makes me feel loved.

In a way it's also an indicator of socioeconomic standing. What types of food one can afford and eat depends on income. Fresh organic food is more expensive than fast food.

This is not healthy but I cannot say no to food. I love the taste and the textures. Each bite is a different experience. I wish I could politely decline, but knowing I'm missing out on something spectacular makes it difficult.

 I sound like I have an eating disorder. I promise I do not.

Balancing work and family

Being a medical resident isn't easy. Being a medical resident mother isn't easy. Most of the time I miss his firsts. I miss his morning cuddles and kisses, especially since that's when he's in the best mood. I miss his hugs and his play dates. I miss most of his meal times and baths.

Instead I come home as a tired, sleepy momma to a tired, sleepy baby.

If I could quit work for a few years and come back, I would. Unfortunately this is an almost impossible option and it would be much easier on everyone if I tugged along and finished my last almost 1.5 years.

I wish I could have everything and be everything and do everything and life to be exactly the way I want it. But that's not life, that's a dream. A fantasy.

I just hope I can be a good mother and I wish I could have a way of knowing that my Baby bear know that I love him so much and that if I could play with him all day I totally would.

I love you, my Baby.

Fat Momma

I've been struggling to lose my baby weight. Going to the gym, running, cutting calories. nothing seemed to be working. I had hypothyroidism during my pregnancy and it only got much much worse after my delivery. I didn't know that until I did some blood tests a few months ago. Since restarting my thyroid medication, the weight effortlessly melted off, not all of it, but a noticeable difference.

That made me lazy.

And now I feel the pounds slowly piling back on.

To make myself feel better I ate a huge fatty piece of pizza. At 12 AM.

Then I slept right after.

Today I felt like a Turkey. So I ran 4 miles. I have weeks where I run almost every day and then stop and don't go back for weeks to months at a time. I can't say that I'll go back to my super fit and healthy and lean pre pregnancy days; but I definitely don't want to gain it back and have to go through the pain and suffering of losing it again.

I wish I could be like Baby Bear and be a picky eater. Or eat only when I am hungry. And Limit my portion sizes.

Silly boy doesn't realize how good food is.