Being a medical resident isn't easy. Being a medical resident mother isn't easy. Most of the time I miss his firsts. I miss his morning cuddles and kisses, especially since that's when he's in the best mood. I miss his hugs and his play dates. I miss most of his meal times and baths.
Instead I come home as a tired, sleepy momma to a tired, sleepy baby.
If I could quit work for a few years and come back, I would. Unfortunately this is an almost impossible option and it would be much easier on everyone if I tugged along and finished my last almost 1.5 years.
I wish I could have everything and be everything and do everything and life to be exactly the way I want it. But that's not life, that's a dream. A fantasy.
I just hope I can be a good mother and I wish I could have a way of knowing that my Baby bear know that I love him so much and that if I could play with him all day I totally would.
I love you, my Baby.